I hate all girls vehemently.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
