Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
