I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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