we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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