You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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