at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
