I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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