do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
