it wasn't lemon gatorade
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
