And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
