I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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