he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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