What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
