but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize