I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
