His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
