you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
