i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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