somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
