I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
