So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
