I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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