Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
