i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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