It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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