windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
