I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
