What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
