the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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