I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
