No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
