dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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