SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
