Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
