this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
