she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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