Umm I'm too high to move.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize