Sacagawea was the original milf.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
