I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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