billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You made out with two different species that night
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
