I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize