I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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