Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's blow job season.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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