I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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