why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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