At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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