Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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