I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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