This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I am one with the molecules
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
