He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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