Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
