i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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