Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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