Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
