I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
