the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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