So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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