Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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