Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
