Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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