Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
