Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
