Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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