Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
