dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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