She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
