That's intense
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
